Eleven Things That Challenge My Perceptions (And the Endless Pondering of Possibilities)

21 11 2007

Shark

By Jill Ettinger

I just attended an event in Texas called the Leadership Gathering. It’s a profound gathering of natural products industry folks that come together, just to see what happens – discuss ideas, connect, share, and so on. The theme this year was “challenging perceptions” and this list was compiled for the event. Originally, it was about one hundred zillion light years long, but I trimmed it down to eleven. A complete listing of things that challenge my perceptions is available everywhere, all the time.

11. If Barry Bonds met a fastball strike in the forehead that split open his skull and then aliens started walking out, right onto home plate, like they were de-boarding from a long intergalactic space journey, would anyone really be surprised? What if they all looked exactly like David Beckham?

10. Discovery Channel’s Shark Week is not fiction!? So apparently, Great White Sharks are real, folks. They live in oceans and eat people. (Note: “Chum” is not your “buddy.”) You’ve been advised. Also, if you have any friends who are seals (who doesn’t?) you may want to let them know that they should probably be on alert, too.

9. Cold-pressed, Fair-Trade, Organic, Yummy Coconut Oil. (See #6.)

8. The number 8, as in, Infinity. How’s that again? Never-ending, huh? Well, ok then.

7. But wait! What about String Theory? So our Universe is actually a giant cello now? I would have thought it more like a beanbag, but whatever. Music’s cool. Still, that’s a whole lot of strings. Are they at least organic cotton?

6. George Clooney. (See #9)

5. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right, but Blind Willie McTell and a Girl From The North Country have both just confirmed that we are indeed living inside one (or possibly a Series) of Bob Dylan’s Dreams. We are a little Tangled Up In Blue (from Blowin’ In The Wind), but When The Night Comes Falling From The Sky, we’ll have just enough time for One More Cup Of Coffee before The Hurricane. There is Shelter from the Storm and you will stay Forever Young, Like A Rolling Stone, actually. Just look for the Visions of Johanna All Along the Watchtower.

4. Can someone please explain Leap Year to me? Seriously, how does that really work in the whole time-space continuum? If we could unravel this major hiccup in time measurement, you’d think we could also figure out a way to make puppies stay cuddly and clumsy forever. Priorities, people.

3. You’re awesome. This one is just for you.

2. Nothing is something. Yes, it is, because anything is possible.

1. Which must mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING is possible. And in that case, there’s really not very much else to discuss.

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