Who Needs Money Anyway?

By Derek Beres

The sum of $2.9 trillion seems rather ridiculous itself, but considering our president is putting his new budget plan into motion, what else could we expect. Outstanding ideas by el presidente include a $345 million dollar gift to the Mars Science Laboratory to “increase our knowledge of the Martian environment and test technologies that may assist human exploration.” Great. To help offset this and other outer space journeying - a total budget to NASA for $17.3 billion - he’ll be cutting Medicare benefits. He’ll be dumping $100 billion MORE into the war, and $60 billion to keep those damned Mexicans out of our country. So while he continues to lock us inside our land, dumping $385 million into coal-burning initiatives, and sending people to distant planets in hopes of one day inhabitating them, issues like global warming, homelessness and proper medical attention get the shaft. I have one candidate that would be perfect for manning that flight out into nowhere; the sooner, the better.